Tuesday, August 22, 2006

童话 (Fairy Tale)

Once upon a time, in a land that mappers nearly forgot [oh, they did end up putting a small red dot in the end], there once lived an unusual creature. Its origins are still shrouded in mystery til this day, and none know how it came about to be. Nevertheless, this creature was constantly reminding others of its presence simply by virtue of being there. Ah yes, also since it also kept spewing forth an infectious blend of substances, collectively known jokus lamus, or in layman's terms the "Lame Jokes". Through thorough examination and observation of the victi--, er, I mean the interaction subjects, it can be concluded that this particular jokus is a particularly infectious form of disease. All that is required is a living vector that is able to possess locomotion, particularly the ability to generate audible coherant sound waves, and any form of stimulus that will result in the vector to open its mouth. Once these requirements are met, all subjects within listening radius would instantly be infected. This, in itself, is really scary. Just take a moment to reflect on this. The Spanish bird flu which wiped out millions in the early 20th century could only be passed by physical methods, such as eating infected chickens or through the particulate that is ejected from infected individuals when they sneeze. Now, imagine the jokus lamus, which is transmitted through sound waves! If but 1 infected individual got hold of the ingenious device called a radio, the whole world would be at his/her mercy! Ah, the horror!

Now, in our haste to impress on you, the reader, the severity of this malady, we have perhaps missed out on important descriptions of the origin. As we have mentioned, the creature in question is a singular creature. On the one hand, it's facial structure resembles what is known as the Animalia Chordata Aves Anseriformes Anatidae, or simply, the common duck. Careful scrutiny would lead the observer to notice a plate-like protrusion resembling the beak of a duck. On the other hand, some others have noticed that this creature resembles the squidm, or more commonly known as the sotong. Furthermore, owing to its back, it resembles the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, except for the kung-fu part, and perhaps the mutant part, and in fact after this year even the teenage part would cease to hold true. =p This fusion of characteristics lead some to adopt a name for this creature, which shall be forthwith known as the Sortoise sp.

In this story, the Sortoise moved, for reasons still unknown, from the Caves of Stone to the Red Dot in the Middle of the Ocean. Successfully infiltrating Victoria JC, it then insinuated itself as a member of the class. Mixing around with the unsuspecting populace, it began its schemes of being a highly successful vector. One by one, the denizens of 11 began to succumb to this malady. As this is being written, 1 such incident comes to mind. The giant of 11 was good-naturedly teasing this sortoise about their height difference, until the sortoise came up with an excellent comeback, which unfortunately was another of the Lame Jokes. This is an important point in history, where the L Rule traces its origins.

For the uninitiated, the L Rule is a simple, thought-provoking and rather encompassing rule to swear by. It is infinitely easier to comprehend than the famed Einsteinian Theory of Relativity, and is so much more definite than the theories of science. Simply put, it states that Man can be compared to the letter L. In this world, there are 2 groups of such people. For one, there is the upright Ls.

Then there are the prone Ls.

For example, the giant is classified as the upright L. A tall person, he is quite lacking in his lateral growth, exactly as the L suggests. Sortoise, on the other hand, is slightly vertically challenged, but makes up for it by being incredibly endowed laterally. Just like the 2nd L.

Interesting, no?

Anyway, now this story is coming to an end. Since this is but a chronicle of the origin of the L Rule, we must leave sortoise alone for now, for fear of angering it and bringing about the terrible wrath manifesting itself in the form of the Rain of the Lame!

Which brings me to a point. Seeing so many NUS people using laptops during lectures and for their assignments, maybe it would be wise to develop proper typing skills, not the type of short-forms typically found on instant messaging. However, it is a sobering thought..would the L Rule apply here too? Would reverting back to the long form result in shortening of other, ahem, things? ARGH!

I'm so Bo Liao these days.

Anybody has any recommendations for medical textbooks? Perhaps starting with Anatomy, Physiology and Biochem. Perhaps even Histology.

I really need to get a life and end such Bo Liao entries. Lolz..

Ah, the centennial celebration of this blog is coming close! Just another post and we're there!

Gambateh!

2 comments:

@nne said...

oh mann.... .peter peter peter.. apa dah jadi kot? hahah....

signius said...

no lar..nothing much..actually supposed 2 b short post bout whether 2 convert from short-form 2 usual form..den rmb my frens last time..those r jz nicknames..
L rule part is totally true tho
In terms of dat it reli happened..haha..