I Know Something

Do you know something?

Actually, it's about somebody in your life.

To be more precise, it's about the person who gave birth to you.

You see, that person, the one who gave birth to you, she's your mother.

It's the truth!

Let's Be Inclusive

The thing about exclusivity is that it only seems attractive if you are within the group. If you are deemed "not good enough" or "not exclusive enough" to gain admittance within the "in" group, somehow it's suddenly not a good thing.

But then again, it could have always been a bad thing whether or not you made their mark.



"Please include me in the No-Spam-No-Telemarketing list!"

Eye Sea Ewe

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

But then is the aqueous humor.

What Doesn't Kill You..

What doesn't kill you might not make you stronger.

It might just be waiting to kill you later on.

At least that's what happens with thrombosis and thromboembolism.

At any rate, the person would be toast. Or was that ptosed?

Beware What You Wish For

Just read an article about how a government wanted to achieve a situation with zero-dependence on foreign labour. It just reminds me of something in Joe Heller's awesome book Catch-22. In it, the main character Yossarian (yes, the Assyrian Supraman, not Super-man) exclaims in exasperation that he doesn't want what he wants.

Silly sounding, but makes sense in a way.

How many times have you ever regretted wanting something so badly but it turned out to be either a disappointment, unattainable or just plain bad for you? I guess that's what Yossarian was driving at (instead of being just mad =p).

Beware indeed!

Good News and Bad News

There was a tombstone at the cemetery, and on it was carved a most sorrowful poem about how much the husband missed his late wife. In it, he promised to wait for her, no matter how long or how hard it would be.

However, on right of the tombstone was the husband's grave. On it too, was a tombstone.

It was dated one year after the wife's date of death.

Say NO To Bacteria!

Isn't it ironic the stuff that helps in reproduction (more specifically the thing that causes things to rise to the occasion) is also the same thing that might kill you?

Or maybe it's not that ironic after all.

Mmm

"Hey Loiuse, what were you discussing about with him just now?" asked Kebob.

"Oh, we were just talking about some world politics and the mindlessness of the MAD policy," replied Loiuse.

"MAD? What's that?"

"That's just an acronym for mutually assured destruction. It's a nuclear deterrent policy, where both sides have nuclear warheads pointed on all the important areas and structures of the opposite side. In case one side decides to be rash about it and starts launching it's nukes, the other side would retaliate with equally lethal power. Basically it relies on the premise that each side wouldn't want a nuclear wasteland as their backyard."

"That's mad!"

"Sheesh, Kebob! Of course it's MAD! What do you think I was blabbering about, Macs?"

"Geez, Louise! No need to get all fired up over it."

The Heart Doesn't Suck!

"Hey, you suck!" cried out Brain.

"I certainly do not, you ball of noodle-y worms! Contrary to popular belief, I don't suck. That's the job of the twins over there," huffed Heart.

"Hmph, we'd appreciate if you leave us out of this! We suck just to keep you alive you know!" returned the Lung twins in unison without so much as a crackle...

Please read disclaimer at the end of the article first as this is a read-at-your-own-risk article with a really ridiculously long title that's so -_-"

Contrary to common belief, it's not love that keeps us alive.

In fact, it's not even money, or any variant of such a reward system (well, maybe not all variants - see below).

What then is it?

Well, C3, 4, 5 keeps us alive.

To be specific, the C3 to C5 ventral rami which supply the phrenic nerve, which is the only source of innervation to the diaphragm, which is the only reliable muscle that keeps us breathing, which in all probability is the thing that keeps all of us alive.

As for the variant of rewards systems, I guess the reward of being continually alive drives us to continue living. Although that isn't really the main reason why we are alive.



P.S. For smart-alecks out there who point out to the artificial lung as a mode of keeping us alive, please realise that you are a smart-aleck. If that fails, it is imperative that you understand that the artificial lung is after all, artificial; also, only a select handful of people in this world have the chance to actually experience it. So, if you truly still believe that artificial lungs keep us alive, maybe you should consider quitting your job as a smart-aleck, and apply for a position that involves breathing through a respirator.



Disclaimer: No animals nor smart-alecks were directly hurt during the production of this comedic article. All characters are not a product of fiction, and any similiarities with real-life person or persons or body parts are not due to coincidence and can be verified through various sources [please look them up yourself, what, did you think I was your personal secretary? what a Pudge you are!] The author shall not be liable for any consequences of reading this article, so read it at your own risk!